Who Takes Care of the Caregivers?

We talk so much about cancer patients and their needs and treatment options, but we easily forget to make sure the caregivers are looked after.

In busy practices we use the caregiver to make sure all appointment are kept, to ensure compliance with therapies, to watch and evaluate patients, and identify red flags about when to call or get concerned.

Caregiving is a full-time job. Sometimes this job is so overwhelming that you can often forget your own needs in favor of your loved ones. Whether you are caring for your spouse, partner, parent, child, or friend, you have an enormous responsibility and play a crucial role in the health care team. Every cancer patient and their family members know how important a caregiver is. We need to make sure that caregivers are taking care of themselves to allow to them continue to be caregivers.

Offering help to a family with a sick person is critical for the well being of the patient and his or her family. However it is impossible to describe a scenario that applies to all people with cancer and their families. The caregiver’s role will change as the treatment and disease changes.

What defines a caregiver? Some of the most important aspects are commitment and devotion.

The challenges of caregiving include physical and emotional stress which can lead into less time for personal and family life, often the need to balance job and caregiving responsibilities, financial hardships associated with caregiving, potential lack of privacy, and feelings of isolation and loneliness.  It is easy to understand that caregivers are feeling often stressed and overwhelmed.

In some cases the caregiver can feel angry, sad, or worried. It is normal to have these feelings of sadness and anger. Caregivers  may be angry at themselves or others, including family members. Caregivers need to talk with someone if their feelings get in the way of daily life. The doctor may also be able to help by identifying needs or stresses of the caregiver.

Most of the time caregivers are  family members or friends who provide constant physical and emotional care of a person with cancer. The majority of them are women (about 75%), and almost half are older than 50. They usually provide emotional support, administer medications, help control symptoms and side effects, provide proper nutrition, and report any problems to the doctor.

Our job is to make sure that caregivers can share their feelings with others who can help such as counselors or social workers. When seeing patients, we need to make sure that caregivers are also evaluated and included in the plan for the patient.

Caregivers should know that no one is perfect and it is okay to make mistakes.  You don’t have to pretend to be cheerful. It’s okay to show that you are sad or upset. Focus on things that are worth your time and energy. Let small things go for now. For example, don’t fold clothes if you are tired. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.

The most important thing is asking for help. Think about tasks you can give to others and let go of tasks that aren’t so important at this time. Asking for help also helps your loved one. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  People may want to help you but don’t know what you need. Here are some things you can ask them to do:

Help with tasks such as:

• Cooking
• Cleaning
• Shopping
• Yard Work
• Childcare
• Eldercare

Help with driving errands such as

• Doctor visits
• Picking up your child

Cancer causes many caregivers to look at life in new ways. They think about the purpose of life, and they start to focus on what they value most. You and your loved one may question why cancer has come into your lives. However, you may also see good things that come out of it, such as it bringing you closer. There are support groups for caregivers at many cancer centers but also in Wellness Communities or online such as CancerCare. Check them out and find out what support is available for you as a caregiver.