If back to school is colliding with a cancer diagnosis, your world is doubly stressful. If you’re entering a new school year and cancer a part of your family’s life, you can take a few extra steps to set your kids up for success:

• Notify their teachers and share the best way to communicate with you.
• Create a routine (as best as you can) for mornings, after school, and night.
• Confirm your children’s emergency contacts and notify the school who may be coming around to help with them.
• Line up babysitters and/or nannies who can help provide consistent support and stability for your child.
• If your children need extra help through tutoring, look for those resources now or ask the school what support they can provide.
• As soon as you get a school calendar, post upcoming events and make it a priority to be involved as much as possible.

Like younger children, teens may or may not display behaviors that indicate cancer is affecting them. But, if cancer is affecting your world, it’s impacting them too. Your teen will probably be focused on school and their social life, but there are still ways to connect with them and support them. And, many of the tips and steps to take with younger children apply to tweens and teens too.

For insight into what it’s like to be a teen facing colorectal cancer, either personally or because a parent was diagnosed, check out Fight CRC’s Teen Colorectal Cancer Roundtable. The National Cancer Institute also offers a free booklet, “When Your Parent has Cancer; A Guide for Teens.”

While it’s good (and normal!) for teens to be consumed with their friends, the experience of a loved one facing cancer can also be life-changing. Situations like these often build empathy in our teens. Even if they act like they don’t want to be involved, powerful connections can form when you invite them in.

Invite your teen into your cancer journey as much as you’re comfortable. This can look like:

• Take them to events and appointments.
• Buy them an awareness t-shirt and bracelets to pass out to their friends.
• Show them how to fundraise for the cause.
• Encourage them to share their story on social media or at school clubs, and explain how it’s great for raising awareness.
• Get involved in advocacy with them, bring them to Call-on Congress

Don’t forget to line up extra support for your tween/teen as your family faces cancer:

• Identify potential tutors or others who can help with coursework.
• Sports tryouts and sign-ups can sneak up. Begin asking when and where they happen. And don’t forget about school sports physical deadlines. Find out when they need to be submitted.
• Let the middle school or high school counselor know about your illness so they can be on standby to offer support as needed.
• Get your teen involved in Fight CRC’s Junior Advocates program.

If you’re a teacher with a student who is facing a parent with cancer at home, it’s important to remember that they’re going through trauma. Being a trauma-informed teacher is one of the biggest gifts you can give these students.

If you know your students are living with a parent with cancer at home, they may show some behaviors that are a trauma response. If you see a pattern of these, connect with the parent(s) or guardians, and/or ask the guidance counselor to help the student cope:

• Silent or withdrawn, struggles to make eye contact.
• Quick to anger, which can be vocalized or displayed by sometimes aggressive behavior.
• Quick to cry or show sadness.
• Very clingy and attached toward you or other teachers.
• Poor eating habits, especially eating very little.
• Sleepy and tired–they may be struggling to sleep at night and/or want to nap in class.
• Lack of focus and concentration.
• Depressed or down.
• Teens and tweens may show signs of eating disorders, self-harm, or act out sexually.

Get more information about Child Trauma.

You’re in education because you want to help your students. We polled our community, and here’s what our parents told us they want their kids’ teachers to know:

• Treat the students like they are no different than the others.
• Have open communication with the parents, check-in regularly.
• Give students an outlet to express themselves.
• Line up support that checks in, and keep tabs on their emotional wellbeing.
• Be a bit more understanding if homework isn’t done.

The old adage that it “takes a village” to raise kids is especially true when it comes to parenting your kids when you have cancer. But you don’t have to do this alone. To chat with a fellow parent or find more resources to help guide you through this, join Community of Champions.