Spirituality and Colorectal Cancer

When you’re diagnosed with colorectal cancer, you don’t just face a medical crisis — you face a disruption to everything that gives your life meaning. Your relationships shift. Your sense of purpose wobbles. Your beliefs, even the ones you’ve trusted for years, might suddenly feel unsteady.

These aren’t side issues. They’re central to how people cope, heal, connect, and make decisions.
They’re spiritual issues — even if you don’t consider yourself “spiritual” or “religious.”

To explore this deeply human side of cancer, we sat down with Chaplain Michael Eselun, BCC from the Simms/Mann UCLA Center for Integrative Oncology. His work focuses on helping patients and families navigate spiritual distress, find meaning, and stay connected to what makes them feel most alive during cancer treatment.

This guide distills the most essential insights from that conversation into a clear, accessible resource for anyone touched by colorectal cancer.

If cancer has made you question what your life means now, you’re in the right place.

Spirituality isn’t about doctrine or rules. It’s about whatever “breathes life” into you — the things that give you strength and help you feel like yourself. That might be:

• Family
• Faith or prayer
• Nature, music, or art
• Community and relationships
• Work or purpose
• A sense of connection to something larger

Cancer can disrupt these anchors. When what once grounded you feels distant or impossible, that’s spiritual distress.

When cancer hits, those life-giving sources can feel threatened or out of reach:

• The runner who can’t run right now.
• The parent who feels too exhausted to parent the way they want to.
• The person of faith who suddenly feels unsure about everything they believed.

That disruption — when what used to give life meaning no longer feels solid or accessible — is spiritual distress.

A cancer diagnosis can stir up deep questions you might not have expected, like:

• Why me?
• I’ve always tried to be a good person. How is this fair?
• Is there a reason this is happening?
• What do I believe now?

Spiritual distress can look and feel like:

• questioning long-held beliefs or faith
• feeling abandoned, punished, or singled out
• feeling guilty for getting sick
• feeling disconnected from yourself, your community, or your purpose
• feeling like life has been divided into “before cancer” and “after cancer”

This isn’t weakness. It’s a human reaction to a major life disruption.

Many people diagnosed with colorectal cancer say things like:

• “I thought I believed in heaven, but now I’m not so sure.”
• “I always trusted God, but this doesn’t make sense to me.”
• “I used to feel certain about what happens after death. Now I feel scared and confused.”

Doubt is not the opposite of faith.
The opposite of faith is rigid certainty that never bends or questions.

Doubt can be:

• a signal that your beliefs are evolving
• an honest response to real suffering
• a doorway to a deeper, more honest spirituality

There is no spiritual “grade” you are supposed to earn while living with cancer. You do not fail your faith — or your values — by having questions.

Don’t Tell Me How The F*** to Feel

Colorectal cancer patients and survivors often hear comments like: “stay positive,” “well, you look good,” and “don’t worry, everything will be fine.” While well intentioned, these comments may cause uncertainty about how to share one’s true feelings. As Jana eloquently states in this episode: it’s OK to feel bad, it’s OK to feel scared, and it’s OK to be mad; in fact, trying to cover up those emotions isn’t always a great idea.

Cancer does not just happen to one person. It happens to everyone around them.

Caregivers often tell themselves:

• “I don’t have the right to be upset. I’m not the one with cancer.”
• “I need to be strong. My job is to keep it together.”
• “My feelings are selfish. I should just be grateful I can help.”

This mindset can deepen spiritual and emotional distress.

Caregivers deserve support, too.

A cancer diagnosis can change:

• roles in the family
• financial pressures
• intimacy and communication
• how caregivers see themselves and their future

Patients often wish their loved ones would share more openly, not less. Honest emotion creates intimacy. Pretending everything is fine creates distance.

Everyone in the system — patients, partners, parents, kids, friends — needs a place to be seen and heard.

Many people quietly believe that if they live well, life will be fair. Cancer challenges that belief, often painfully. Part of spiritual coping is recognizing that:

• life is unpredictable
• suffering is not a punishment
• illness does not reflect your worth or your choices

This doesn’t make the pain smaller — but it can make room for new perspectives.

Some people find comfort in believing there is a reason behind their cancer. Others find that idea confusing or painful.

There is no right interpretation.
You can believe there is a reason.
You can believe life is random.
You can be unsure.

Meaning often unfolds slowly — not on demand.

Cancer may feel like it has taken over your life, but you are still you. Your worries, relationships, joys, and disappointments don’t disappear because you’re in treatment.

You are:

• more than your diagnosis
• more than your fear
• more than your hardest moment

Spiritual support helps you reconnect with the parts of yourself that feel lost or overshadowed.

These questions can help you find clarity:

• What gives my life meaning right now?
• What feels uncertain or shaken?
• Who truly listens to me?
• What values do I want to stay connected to?
• What practices help me feel grounded?

Your answers can change over time — that’s normal.