Support for Caregivers
Caregiving is a careful balancing act of taking care of someone they love, while keeping themselves mentally, physically and emotionally healthy as well. If you’re a caregiver, you need cancer caregiver support. We know: This is easier said than done.
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Table of Contents
Caregiving Guide
Caregiving is one of the most important — and often most challenging — roles you can take on. A caregiver assists and supports a loved one through illness, helping them navigate treatments, side effects, and daily life.
“There are only four kinds of people in this world: those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” – Rosalynn Carter
What does it mean to be a Caregiver?
A report from a poll by The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research (AP-NORC) demonstrated that caregivers of patients age 65 or older are skipping out on their own health care needs. The poll included over 1,000 interviews and utilized a nationally representative sample of American adults who consider themselves long-term caregivers.
According to the poll:
- 8 in 10 caregivers pay for costs associated with caregiving out of their own pockets
- ¼ have reduced how much money they save for their personal retirement as a result of caregiving expenses
- ¼ say caregiving makes it hard to manage their own health
- Only 54% have a plan in place for who would provide care if they were no longer able to
- 63% cope with difficult caregiving situations through prayer or meditation; 44% sleep less, and 17% drink more alcohol
- Close to 75% of caregivers over age 40 report feelings of loneliness.
- 90%, of caregivers accompany the patient to the medical appointment, and 70% of those people go into the exam room
Less than 1/4 of caregivers have talked to their personal doctors about the role they’re playing as a caregiver. However, of that group, ¾ of them received guidance on how to make sure their needs are met.
Key Questions to Ask Your Doctor:
- What side effects should I watch for, and when should I seek medical attention?
- Who do I contact in case of emergency or medical concerns?
- Are there support services or resources available for caregivers?
Asking for Help (and Accepting it)
Ways People Can Support You:
Food
Most of the meal planning, food prep, grocery shopping, and cooking falls on caregivers. This is an easy way to step in and provide relief. A few ideas:
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- Order groceries and have them delivered to the door (Don’t ask a caregiver to send you a list unless you’ve both agreed this would be helpful to them… just send the staples so it’s one less thing they need to worry about.)
- Set up a Meal Train for the family
- Coordinate Meals on Wheels if the patient is a senior
- Pre-make freezer meals
- Send a Door Dash (or any food delivery) gift card
Housework: Cleaning, laundry, mowing the lawn
Caregivers are often the ones who are physically able to keep a household going. This looks like everything from laundry to mowing to cleaning. Offer a helping hand around the house:
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- Mow the lawn or pay for someone to do the yardwork for them.
- Help clean the house or offer to send a cleaner
- Help with laundry or line up a laundry service. This can look like doing the washing, folding, or put away laundry.
- Are you handy, or know a handyman? Offer to come over and help change lightbulbs, fix squeaky doors, repair leaking toilets, and other odd jobs.
Childcare & Transportation
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- Driving kids to school or activities.
- If you’re close with the patient, caregivers may appreciate a break from the driving or appointments. Offer to drive the patient to a chemo appointment and sit with them, if the caregiver is open to it.
Check-in
A lot of people will be texting caregivers about how the patients are doing. But caregivers need checked on, too. Call, text, or write a note or message to comfort a caregiver. Let them know you see THEM, and remind them that they’re not alone. Also: Plan some fun for them! Give them a break and a night out where cancer isn’t a topic of conversation.
How to Give Care Effectively
Best Practices for Caregivers
“Don’t try to be Superman… ask for help, get your rest, and live in the moment.” – Jonathan Ortiz, caregiver
Understand treatment side effects
Talk to your loved one’s physicians about what side effects you can expect to see, how best to manage them, and when to seek medical attention for severe symptoms. Knowing what to expect can help ease anxiety and confusion once you start seeing side effects, and can prevent unnecessary trips to the clinic or emergency room.
Stay organized with bills, accounts, and care team contacts
Who pays the bills in the family, and how are they paid? Make sure you have logins, passwords, due dates, and any other information you might need to take over the financial aspects of the household. Compiling all this information in an easy to find place can help ease the transition and prevent late charges, last-minute panic, and disruptions in essential services, like electricity or internet.
Create a Checklist
Have you ever had someone ask ,“How can I help you?” only to find yourself overwhelmed at the question and unable to provide an answer? Create a list of things that would be helpful to you and make copies. When someone asks how they can help, provide the list and let them go wild. People want to help but often don’t know how, making it easy for them can also make things easier for you.
Respect your loved one’s decisions
If the person you’re providing care for wants a break and wants to take care of themselves for a bit, let them. This can provide a break for you, which can prevent burnout, and can provide a sense of self-reliance and independence for the patient, something they may be desperately missing in their day-to-day life.
Ask for help
You can’t do this alone, so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out to friends and family, and utilize the resources available through the hospital or clinic where treatment is being given. Ask nurses and doctors for caregiving tips and tricks they may have picked up over the years. Advocate for yourself and your loved one, and don’t be afraid to speak up when you need assistance.
Recognize caregiver burnout before it overwhelms you
Caregiving is a full-time job, on top of your already busy life. Learn to recognize the symptoms of caregiver burnout and address them before it’s too late. Take a break if you need it, reach out to friends and family to help provide care. You are not the only one who can help your patient, and you don’t need to feel guilty about managing your own health.
Key Caregiving Resources
Caregiving and Relationship Changes
Kristina shares her perspective and gives advice to other caregivers, spouses and loved ones of those fighting CRC, in addition to tips for others on how to keep communication afloat during a challenging time.
Compassion Fatigue
Are you impacted by someone else’s cancer experience? Maybe it’s a loved one, a friend, or someone you’ve connected with online. If so, you may be familiar with compassion fatigue, which often affects people who are repeatedly exposed to loss, pain, and suffering.