Lo más destacado:

• La muerte de un amigo o familiar puede provocar diversas reacciones emocionales
• El duelo es una parte importante del proceso de recuperación
• Aunque puede que no faciliten el proceso, existen formas de ayudar a gestionar el duelo, como el asesoramiento, las salidas creativas, etc.

The loss of a family member or friend is not easy. Colon and rectal cancers are the second leading cause of cancer related death among men and women combined in the United States, which means that there are many grieving the loss of someone who passed away from colorectal cancer. Grief is often described as an overwhelming emotion of sadness which stems from the loss of a loved one or from a terminal diagnosis given to a loved one. Loved ones may include close friends and family, however, grief could be triggered through the social media landscape as well.

We never know what challenges or life events we will read about from our social media contacts when we log on to Facebook or Instagram. Sometimes, we open the apps only to see that someone we knew, was close to, or someone who left a kind comment in the past, has passed away. Seeing this can result in the dynamic experiences of sadness, despair, anger, and grief.

Most who have experienced grief can agree that it isn’t linear. It can come in waves, it can pass and then return. Even when you think you are ‘better’, you may find yourself grieving again. For many people, celebrations and milestones can make grief return. The holiday season, New Years Eve, birthdays, graduations, and other special days can rekindle feelings of sadness and loss about our loved ones who have died. This is a normal part of the process, and there is no need to hide - even years after the passing of a loved one.

We talked to Ali Schaffer, a licensed clinical social worker from Nashville, Tenn., to learn more about what grief is, how it can show up, and how to address it in a meaningful way…

P: Cuando un amigo/familiar muere de cáncer, ¿cuáles pueden ser algunas de las respuestas emocionales típicas que hay que tener en cuenta y cuáles son algunas recomendaciones sobre cómo reconocerlas?

Some common emotional responses to the death of a friend/family member can include:
anger, sadness, relief, peace, denial, numbness, depression, resentment, shock, guilt, fear, disbelief, despair, loneliness, and anxiety.

Individual responses to death and expressions of grief and loss are personal and may be impacted by factors such as the relationship to the deceased, circumstances surrounding the death, previous experiences with loss. The timeline of emotional response varies and there is no set schedule in which people experience the emotions associated with the death of a loved one.

Even though it may be incredibly painful or uncomfortable, a willingness to fully experience the emotions of loss is an important part of the grieving, healing, and recovery process. It’s not about getting over the loss, instead it is about moving through it, learning to live with it and ultimately, integrating the experience of loss into your life versus getting stuck in the experience of grief.

It can be helpful and important to talk about (or journal) your feelings and experiences with others; could be family, friends, a support group, or a licensed counselor. Additionally, taking care of yourself (rest, food, exercise) is critical to managing the short and long-term responses of grief.

P: Tras la pérdida de un amigo o familiar, las oleadas de dolor pueden ir y venir con el tiempo. Cómo se puede afrontar este flujo y reflujo?

Grief is an ever-changing, dynamic experience that impacts emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being and often unfolds in waves, surfacing at both anticipated times (anniversaries, birthdays) and at unexpected times (a “random” Monday, traveling to new places).

Grief is unpredictable, very personal and each person expresses their grief differently, although there are common themes and milestones. It’s a process of acceptance and adjustment that occurs over time. It is helpful to accept that the experience of grief will change as well as come and go over time and this is a reflection of the healing and recovery process. Over time, most people experience a change in the intensity and frequency of waves of grief and an increase in their capacity to navigate the waves and to live with and through grief.

It can be helpful to stay connected with your support system, practice consistent self-care, and increase self-care when navigating new phases of grief. And, to allow your needs to change overtime--what was helpful in the initial stages of grief may not be helpful later on.

P: ¿Qué puede decirnos sobre las salidas creativas y la recuperación tras una pérdida?

For many people, words are not enough to fully experience, process, and support the personal recovery from loss. There are many creative outlets to facilitate and personalize the recovery process and help you to feel engaged in the healing process.

You are a unique individual and you can leverage your interests, coping styles, and curiosity to help you express feelings and memories through different mediums and activities. Be willing to try new things and have new experiences that may offer insight into your feelings and create opportunities to develop and connect to parts of yourself that are changing/changed as a result of the loss.

Algunos ejemplos son:

• Creative Expression: This might be done alone, in a class, or with a group of people and may include journaling, art-making, photography, dancing, videos, etc.
• Engage in Ritual: Can be a meaningful way to honor the loss and the relationship or history shared, or to maintain the memory of your loved one as well as the acknowledge the changes occurring in your life related to loss. This could include: visiting their favorite place and lighting a candle in their honor, preparing their favorite meal and inviting loved ones to gather with you, writing a letter to your loved one to express your feelings, or planting a tree in their honor.
• Commit to a Task or Project in Their Honor: This may include running a 5k, volunteering (when you’re emotionally ready), taking a new class, or completing a project you were working on together.
• Try new things: A willingness to have new experiences can be an important step and milestone in moving forward and learning to live with loss. This can include taking a class, starting a new project, getting a new job, or even just trying new foods.

¿Cómo has gestionado el duelo? Coméntalo en la caja de comentarios de abajo.

Ali Schaffer is a licensed clinical social worker with a private counseling practice in Nashville, TN and provides individual and group therapy for adults navigating life transitions, coping with health challenges and desiring to live more fully.